Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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