her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
