i permit you to call me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
