he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
