Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
