drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
