Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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