Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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