after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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