And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We just shotgunned beers for America
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
