someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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