ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
