i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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