My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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