that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
