Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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