I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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