Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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