I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
