The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
