dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
