I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When are your genitals available?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
