Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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