My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have aggressive nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
