I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
