it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
