hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
