fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
