i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
