i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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