The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
