she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
