hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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