Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
