matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
