i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
