I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
