I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
