Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
