Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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