I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
