im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
