Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
