i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They took my balls.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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