google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
