Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
