weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
