You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
