oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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