I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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