yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
