this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
