I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
